My new psychiatrist.
I hate her.
She makes me feel like an idiot.
She makes me feel alien.
She blocks out the outside world.
She feeds me lies.
I want out even more now.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Drabble
Wonderland is a form of society.
Wonderland, as in perfect?
Perfect society?
Impossible.
Perfection is dystopian.
Dystopia is perfection.
This equates to anarchy.
Anarchy is chaos.
Pure chaos.
Chaos is good.
Good is a relative term.
So is perfection.
And dystopia(n).
Ignore my hypocrisy.
I'm going down the rabbit hole.
Looking for something within and out of nothing.
I love impossible.
Yet another relative term.
Life is impossible to get through.
It shall end.
Eventually.
Wonderland, as in perfect?
Perfect society?
Impossible.
Perfection is dystopian.
Dystopia is perfection.
This equates to anarchy.
Anarchy is chaos.
Pure chaos.
Chaos is good.
Good is a relative term.
So is perfection.
And dystopia(n).
Ignore my hypocrisy.
I'm going down the rabbit hole.
Looking for something within and out of nothing.
I love impossible.
Yet another relative term.
Life is impossible to get through.
It shall end.
Eventually.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Doctor says:
I am 15 pounds under-weight. Therefore I apparently have an eating disorder. I do not.
...and the snowball keeps a-rollin'...
I am tired all the time. I might be anemic. I might have a thyroid(hormones) problem. Blood work was done.
...a-rollin' down the hill...
Then the doctor asked, "Have you been feeling depressed lately?" My mom looked at me, "Yeah, I'm gonna go there." She says, "Currie cuts herself." As blatant as that. The doctor checks my wrist and writes something on her clipboard. She hands my mom a buisness card, "Here's a psychiatrist that specializes in adolescents and depression."
...The snowball crashes into a rock...
...and the snowball keeps a-rollin'...
I am tired all the time. I might be anemic. I might have a thyroid(hormones) problem. Blood work was done.
...a-rollin' down the hill...
Then the doctor asked, "Have you been feeling depressed lately?" My mom looked at me, "Yeah, I'm gonna go there." She says, "Currie cuts herself." As blatant as that. The doctor checks my wrist and writes something on her clipboard. She hands my mom a buisness card, "Here's a psychiatrist that specializes in adolescents and depression."
...The snowball crashes into a rock...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Books are harder than Heads
Friday: I got into an argument with my father. He threw a book at me. It hit me in the head. I was bleeding. I was woozy. He shut off my phone in spite. It is, no, was the only connection I had to my love and my friends.
Saturday: My mother picked me up. Rescued me from my father. My father got a call from the school. I have a Saturday detention a few weeks from now. He called me. He yelled at me. He called me a whore. He said I should never see my love and friends again. I hung up on him. I ran outside. My mother caught me and got mad at me for treating my father with such disrespect.
Sunday: Depression.
Monday: Sleep.
Today: Doctors appointment. I shouldn't be this tired all the time. Then a dentist appointment. The place where everytime I go, they deteriorate my self-esteem just a little bit more.
I have a half an hour.
Saturday: My mother picked me up. Rescued me from my father. My father got a call from the school. I have a Saturday detention a few weeks from now. He called me. He yelled at me. He called me a whore. He said I should never see my love and friends again. I hung up on him. I ran outside. My mother caught me and got mad at me for treating my father with such disrespect.
Sunday: Depression.
Monday: Sleep.
Today: Doctors appointment. I shouldn't be this tired all the time. Then a dentist appointment. The place where everytime I go, they deteriorate my self-esteem just a little bit more.
I have a half an hour.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Tired
I woke up this morning, got out of bed. There was something not right.
I am exhausted.
I am always exhausted.
I sat there this morning, trying to get up, to get dressed, I couldn't.
I was too tired.
When I found the will to actually stand up, my legs gave out within ten seconds. I fell.
I am exhausted.
I am always exhausted.
I sat there this morning, trying to get up, to get dressed, I couldn't.
I was too tired.
When I found the will to actually stand up, my legs gave out within ten seconds. I fell.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I hate it so much.
It's so Goddamn ADDICTING!
My life is being sucked up by technology.
That's a 'true' Wiccan for ya.
It's so Goddamn ADDICTING!
My life is being sucked up by technology.
That's a 'true' Wiccan for ya.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I'm So Tired
I've been so extremely tired lately. It's amazing. My parents think I'm on some sort of pill. I just laugh.
I found out today that someone I happen to obsess over, obsesses over me in the same way. I feel good. My relationship is going so fast though. I don't want it to slow down, ever. It makes me feel real, like a needle prick to a finger, a cut upon your wrist. It brings me back to the world, yet I'm always in the clouds. It's bitter-sweet. It's almost painful, and I love that pain.
Love, always.
Currie
I found out today that someone I happen to obsess over, obsesses over me in the same way. I feel good. My relationship is going so fast though. I don't want it to slow down, ever. It makes me feel real, like a needle prick to a finger, a cut upon your wrist. It brings me back to the world, yet I'm always in the clouds. It's bitter-sweet. It's almost painful, and I love that pain.
Love, always.
Currie
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Early in the morning
Oh, how I love the early morning. This time to myself. It's so peaceful. Unlike when my father is home. Want to know something hilarious? I'm watching Paul McCartney make mashed potatoes. That's right Paul McCartney. Making mashed potatoes. Don't ask me why. Oh! Look at the time! Must get ready for school.
-Currie
-Currie
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Tayla <3
I just had a sob attack. I know it's not forever, but I miss you so much. YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT! My idiot, that I love forever and ever and ever and ever. I wish you the best Tree. For now I will be here, waiting. Just for you! I love you more than life m'dear!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
It's been a while
Still no followers I see. Fun.
Life has been boring. It always is. I don't really have anything significant to say.
I have a Mibba. I would love it if someone would read my freaking stories.
I also have some sort of poison ivy or oak all over my face. So, I'll be at home most of the day. Don't want to spread my germs around at school. I hope it's all clearaed up soon. I would die if I had to go to school looking like a freaking thing. My aren't I pleasant today?
Currie
Life has been boring. It always is. I don't really have anything significant to say.
I have a Mibba. I would love it if someone would read my freaking stories.
I also have some sort of poison ivy or oak all over my face. So, I'll be at home most of the day. Don't want to spread my germs around at school. I hope it's all clearaed up soon. I would die if I had to go to school looking like a freaking thing. My aren't I pleasant today?
Currie
Thursday, January 29, 2009
This Is Therapy
This will be the place I complain and vent. I thought it would be better than just a regular journal. I doubt anyone will ever read this. It's fine by me. Just as long as I get my point across, whatever that point may be.
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